Friday, October 24, 2008

Blair Underwood Aha! Moment: Oprah.com

Before heading off to my new adventure for today, I checked my inbox and came across this insightful article about Blair Underwood posted on Oprah's website. Don't have time today to post a lot of it but it's definitely worth reading and practicing in our own lives. The full article can be read HERE at Oprah.com. Below is an excerpt:

The Dirty Sexy Money actor thought solving problems made him a man. Then his wife taught him that sometimes, the best solution is just listening.

"...When my dad wasn't around, my brother and I were the de facto men of the house. We learned to repair the VCR, to change the oil in the car, to lock the doors at night. If there was a tornado coming, or if there had been robberies in the neighborhood, it was up to us males to make sure our family was secure.

I took this role to heart when I was young and feeling my way around my relationship with my wife-to-be, Desiree. I wanted to be her rock, her protector. If she had a problem, I wanted to solve it. I thought that's what was expected of me.

As a man, it can be confusing to know what role to play. There I was, with the woman I would soon marry, trying to jockey for position in her life. What did it mean to be her significant other? That night, I understood that it meant I needed to hear her when she spoke to me. Trying to come up with ways to solve her problems gave me a false sense of control, and when I offered up unsolicited advice, I was disrespecting a strong woman who knew how to handle her own life. I was relieved as well; she didn't expect me to always have an answer for her. She wasn't coming to me for a repair. She just needed a shoulder to cry on. ..."

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