I even thought of setting up the camera and making a personal video response to the news of his death. He impacted my life that much, but I'm not willing to be seen crying on the internet. This blog enables me to write, express my hurt, and cry without worry of how I look doing it.
The Blackberry is ringing and vibrating. Friends are calling to talk, to reflect, to sympathize, to gossip. I don't feel like talking. When it feels this bad, I'm compelled to write. So instead I surround myself with blessed quietness so I can hear God speak.
A friend, a family member, an inspiration, a legend transitioned from flesh to spirit just moments ago and I'm going to miss his presence immensely. Yes, I'll see glimpses of him in others, but nothing and no one will ever truly replace the original.
"So, why are you crying? It's not like you knew him." I didn't have to be invited to his home to feel Michael's spirit. As I commented elsewhere online, in order to affect the world the way he did, his true spirit had to come through. Only spirit gets beneath the social, economical, political, and racial surfaces we are so distracted by and inspires generations around the globe to live out their dreams. MJ did that and more.
Why else am I crying? Because I wanted to see Mike be on top again before he officially ended his career. I wanted him to show the world that genius spirit on stage one more time. Say what you want about his looks, his clothes, when The King of Pop took stage all the haters and the gossip spewers bowed down to his brilliance. But now that is not to be. Gone to Soon? Only God knows.
So I will give myself only a few more hours of blessed quietness before responding to the calls. And during that quiet time, I'm going to say a prayer, a prayer for comfort and peace beyond understanding. Death sometimes seems so much harder on the living than those that actually passed away.
Lastly, Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett, you are not forgotten. They now suffer no more. Both were incredible talents too that inspired many to follow their dreams. I pray God's comfort and peace for their family and friends as well.
To the McMahon, Fawcett, O'Neal, and especially Jackson families I dedicate this song: